4 am is the standard time for me to get what I have come to call “med evac blues”, basically this is when I’ve run out of things to distract me and I begin to dwell on my situation. I’ve been trying to find active support groups or at least blogs by med evac RPCVs but interestingly the internet seems to be drawing a blank. The only really groups I have found are about trying to get your medical stuff dealt with (which seems to be a huge issue for most PCV’s returned to the states).
A friend of mine from PC Zambia Jessica is one of the only sources of real info on the subject, she was sent home from Zambia after contracting HIV and her blog is an on-going look into what she is doing after. http://nogoingback-thereisonlyforward.blogspot.com/ I sincerely suggest looking at it.
Though every med evac is different I feel like there is a common sense of “well now what?” and bit of hanging on by your finger tips. We experience all the feelings and trouble adjusting that a regular RPCV has but we didn’t get to mentally prep at all.
For me my biggest struggle is the lack of mobility and independence. Just now 2 months after my accident I can carry a plate of food myself and navigate a store without getting winded. I’m still on crutches, can’t drive and can’t start working yet. Also that I’m 24 years old with a college degree, and have been living on my own in another country for a year and suddenly I’m transported to feeling like I’m in high school again. Living with my mom, no money, no car and unsure of what I’m doing in life.
I guess the point of this entry to make a formal calling out to other med evacs, how are you guys doing? What did you do to not make yourself crazy?